Ditch the dwelling, moving forward is key

For women who are feeling stuck or going through a challenging time in life, the key is to continue moving forward in a new direction says life coach and author Danielle Simone.

Many women who have suffered a traumatic experience such as relationship and friendship breakdowns, death or if life hasn’t played out as they’d imagined, can be more harmful to dwell on the past than finding new ways forward.

“We can’t go back to the past, even if the past was better than your current situation. The only time we have is now and we can only move forward into the future,” said Simone.

“It is crucial for women recovering from difficult situations to keep their focus on the life they want to create going forward to ensure a healthy healing process”.

Simone tackles this healing process by dividing life into four phases. One part can be defined as when things feel like they’re progressing and going well for us; another part is when nothing seems to go right and we fall until we hit rock bottom; the other two parts are the moments in between when we can see our lives crumbling, followed by hitting rock bottom when we learn that we need to try new ways to move towards good times again.

“This cycle can happen over a few months or years but also on a daily basis,” said Simone.

“How low we go is different for everyone but what we all have in common is we get to our lowest when we think we can’t go on. That’s the point when we need to make a decision and find a way to move forward. If we stay stuck and then spiral down even further, it can lead to people making negative choices that are not in alignment with their values or character.”

Often, after hitting rock bottom is when women are most open to finding new ways of doing things, Simone said. “This is the start of rebuilding confidence and self-esteem,” she said.

“This phase can often be the hardest to get through because our natural tendency is to resist change – it can be uncomfortable to face fears, learn new things and reassess values, but this is required to move forward.” In her life coaching,

Simone helps women to recognise and work through the four phases of recovering from traumatic experiences, allowing them to rebuild and move forward with a more positive mentality.

Simone helps her clients to feel empowered and find the courage to tackle obstacles, allowing them to achieve the life they desire.

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Written by Angela Sutherland

After spending many years hustling stories on busy editorial desks around the world, Angela is now mum of two little ones and owner/editor at Kids on the Coast / Kids in the City. She is an atrocious cook and loves cutting shapes to 90s dance music.

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