If your living room looks like a coloured explosion of building blocks, dollhouse furniture, and dress-up clothes, consider it not a mess, but a highly sophisticated developmental laboratory. Play, and particularly pretend play, is a critical part of a child’s development, yet it has begun to be significantly undervalued in the life of a modern child.
The role of ‘parenting’ has become a highly profitable commercial demographic. Clever marketing ploys have moulded anxious parents, constantly barraging them with messages about the necessity of advancing their child early with tools like baby flashcards and toddler coding classes. The undertone of these messages is that ‘just playing’ is a waste of precious time, a mere frivolous activity, unnecessary in a hyper-scheduled world. Yet, psychologist Jean Piaget (1962) famously noted that play is the work of childhood, “…the answer to how anything new comes about.”
Kristen Whittingham is a tertiary-qualified Child and Family Play Therapist at Play Plus Therapy with years of experience working across childcare, home settings, and primary classrooms.
Equipped with evidence-based knowledge, she notes behavioural trends supporting the rapid decline in daily free play. This decline is her catalyst for advocating a return to the significance of PLAY in homes, schools, and the outdoors. Her years surrounded by early childhood educators, neuroscientists, and play therapists provide the foundation for sharing a vital secret: play is not a break from learning. Play is the learning.
What is PLAY?
We must start by removing the stigma that play is a frivolous ‘break from learning’, discarding the idea that if a child is having fun, they aren’t learning. While scholars have debated its definition for decades, Kristen aligns with the view that play meets a child’s cognitive development by providing a platform for their natural language. It allows them to process and thereby learn about, the world and events shaping their lives.
Play can be structured (sports, board games) or unstructured free play (socio-dramatic tea parties, moving cars, art). Free play is child-initiated, unscheduled, and unscripted. It can involve conventional manufactured toys or symbolic toys, which are items substituted for a conventional toy. Think of a paper towel tube: it might be a cardboard cylinder waste from a kitchen item, but to a child, it could be a telescope star gazing and looking at planets. This simple activity provides opportunities to engage in free, imaginative thought, express creativity in building a play script (literacy), and share discoveries (social).
The hard science of having fun
The evidence supporting the developmental power of play is staggering. In a landmark 2018 clinical report, the American Academy of Paediatrics (AAP) declared play fundamentally essential for building 21st-century skills, including problem-solving, collaboration, and creativity. According to the AAP, play actively alters the developing brain’s architecture. When children play, they strengthen neural pathways associated with executive functioning; the mental toolkit allowing us to plan, focus attention, remember instructions, and juggle multiple tasks.
Importantly, the Australian Psychological Society’s fifth edition of Evidence-Based Psychological Interventions in the Treatment of Mental Disorders (APS, 2024) published positive findings for play therapy across four disorder categories in children and adolescents. Global researchers consistently find that play acts as a critical buffer against toxic stress. Joyful, self-directed play releases a cascade of neurochemicals like dopamine and oxytocin while simultaneously lowering cortisol (the stress hormone) levels.
The magic of pretend play
While all play is beneficial, ‘pretend’ (or symbolic) play holds a magical place in development. Emerging around age two, this is when a cardboard box suddenly becomes a pirate ship. Pioneering psychologist Lev Vygotsky theorised that pretend play is critical because it forces a child to operate slightly above their normal age level. When a four-year-old pretends to be a doctor, they exert tremendous self-control to stay in character, regulate their emotions, and follow the invisible rules of the scenario.
During pretend play, children safely ‘try on’ the world. They process overwhelming experiences (like a doctor’s trip) by re-enacting them and develop empathy by stepping into another’s shoes. University of Cambridge researchers found a strong correlation between high-quality early pretend play and advanced emotional regulation later in childhood.
Creating connection: Quality over quantity
Adding ‘facilitate high-quality pretend play’ to an overflowing parenting list can induce feelings of overwhelm or guilt, but the good news is, your child doesn’t need to be scheduled 24 hours a day. Independent play is completely necessary. The only need is for you to support the value of providing free play while also carving out small, intentional moments to join in on some of their independent play.
When parents engage in child-led play, it strengthens parent-child attachment, the foundation for future mental resilience. Decades of clinical research show just 15–30 minutes of uninterrupted ‘Present Play Time’ a few days a week dramatically reduces behavioural issues, decreases parental stress, and builds profound connection.
Kristen’s tips to master “present play time”
Here is your professional-approved cheat sheet:
- Be the Co-Star, Not the Director: Switch off the ‘teachable moment’ instinct. Let the child lead. If they hand you a teacup of “spicy dragon soup,” pretend to drink it and say it’s spicy. Don’t hijack the play with educational questions (“What colour is the cup?”). Just follow their script.
- Become a Sportscaster: Instead of giving instructions, narrate what your child is doing: “I see you stacking the red block on top of the blue one.” This behavioural description validates their focus without interrupting their flow.
- Embrace the Mess and the Silliness: Play is a child’s chance to flip the script on adult power dynamics. Let them “defeat” you in a pillow fight. Sharing a genuine belly laugh releases bonding hormones for both of you.
- Put the Phone Away: Put your device in another room. Children are incredibly attuned to diverted attention. A short burst of undivided, eye-contact-heavy presence fills their emotional cup much faster than an afternoon of half-distracted presence.
The ultimate takeaway on pretend play
The next time you trip over a stray dinosaur, try to see it not as clutter, but as the precise tool your child is using to build their brain. You don’t need an expensive curriculum or a degree in early childhood education. You just need a willingness to get down on the floor, follow their lead, and let the play work its magic.
Key References
Australian Psychological Society. (2024). Evidence-based psychological interventions in the treatment of mental disorders: A literature review (5th ed.). APS. Available at: https://psychology.org.au/for-the-public/psychology-topics/evidence-based-psychological-interventions
Monro Miller, R. (2025). State of Play 2025. Play Australia. Available at: https://www.playaustralia.org.au/sites/default/files/State%20of%20Play_final.pdf
Piaget, J. (1962). Play, dreams and imitation in childhood. W. W. Norton & Co.
Renshaw, K., & Scira, N. (2025). Play therapy evidence summary. Play and Filial Therapy and Playroom Therapy. Available at: https://www.playandfilialtherapy.com/_files/ugd/c223a1_2763b4443a38455390bf17b de1180091.pdf
Russ, S. W. (2018). Pretend play and creativity: Two templates for the future. In R. J. Sternberg & J. C. Kaufman (Eds.), The nature of human creativity (pp. 264–279).
Cambridge University Press. https://doi.org/10.1017/9781108185936.019
Vygotsky, L. S. (1967). Play and its role in the mental development of the child. Soviet Psychology, 5(3), 6–18. (Original work published 1933).
