Moving day gets all the planning. The truck is booked, the boxes are labelled, someone has finally found the allen key. Then the truck drives off, the door closes, and the real work starts: helping the kids feel at home in a place they didn’t choose.
I run a removals company in Queensland, and our crews spend a lot of time in houses on the day a family arrives. You learn to read the kids. Some are off exploring the backyard before the first box is down. Others sit on the stairs with a backpack on and won’t take it off. Both are completely normal, and both kids will usually be fine. But the weeks after the move make a big difference to how quickly they get there.
Here’s what we’ve learned from moving families around Brisbane, the Gold Coast, the Sunshine Coast and up north, and from the parents who’ve told us what worked.
Settling in takes longer than moving in
Most adults expect the hard part to be over once the furniture is in. For kids, it often starts then. The excitement of a new house wears off after a week or so, and that’s when they notice what they’ve lost: the friend who lived two doors up, the walk to school they knew by heart, the park with the good swings.
A rough guide parents tell us they found useful:
- The first fortnight is often surprisingly good. Everything is new and a bit of an adventure.
- Weeks three to eight are when the wobbles tend to show. Tears at school drop-off, trouble getting to sleep, a toddler who suddenly wants to be carried everywhere, a teenager who is very quiet or very cranky.
- By about three months, most kids have a friend or two, a routine and a favourite spot in the new suburb.
Every child is different, of course. But knowing that a wobble in week four is part of the process, rather than a sign the move was a mistake, takes a lot of pressure off you.
Different ages need different things
Babies and toddlers don’t understand the move, but they feel the disruption. What they need most is you, their routine and their familiar things. Keep naps and bedtime on the same schedule, even if it means leaving the unpacking for later, and don’t be surprised by a bit of clinginess or a step backwards with toilet training or sleep. It passes once life feels predictable again.
Preschoolers understand more than we think, but they can get odd ideas about what’s happening. Some worry their toys won’t come too, or that the old house will be sad without them. Talk it through simply and often. Picture books about moving help, and so does letting them pack a box of special things and carry it themselves.
Primary school kids usually care most about friends and school. They do well with jobs, choices and things to look forward to, which is where the bucket list and their own room come in.
Teenagers are often the hardest hit, because friendships are such a big part of their world and the new school’s social groups are already formed. They need more patience, more privacy and more say than younger kids, and they usually need a little longer.
Start before you arrive
The easiest way to make a new suburb less scary is to make it familiar before you live there.
If you can, visit together a few times before the move. Find the nearest playground and have a go on it. Walk past the new school. Get a milkshake from the local café or bakery, so there’s already one place they know. If the new place is too far for a visit, do it on a map: “drive” down the street on Google Street View, find the parks and the beach, and let the kids pick three places they want to try first.
Then write those places down. A “new suburb bucket list” stuck on the fridge gives everyone something to look forward to on the hard days, and ticking things off feels good. Keep it simple: the closest beach or creek, the library, a bike path, the best fish and chips, the nearest pool.
Rebuild their room first
When the boxes come off the truck, the kids’ bedrooms should be set up before anything else, ideally on the first night.
Use the same bed, the same doona, the same nightlight. Put the posters back up in roughly the same spots. Familiar things in an unfamiliar room tell a child’s brain that this is a safe place to sleep. It’s tempting to treat the move as a chance to redo the bedroom, but it’s usually better to keep it the same for the first month and redecorate later, together, once they’ve settled.
If you’re still before the move, tell your removalist you’d like the kids’ furniture loaded last so it comes off first. A good crew will happily do it, and having their bed up within the first hour changes the whole mood of the day.
Protect the little rituals
So much changes in a move that the small things you keep the same matter more than usual. Bedtime stories, Friday night pizza, pancakes on Sunday, the same goodnight routine. They’re anchors, and kids hold on to them.
Try not to let the chaos of unpacking push them out for too long. Living out of boxes for a few weeks is fine. Losing every familiar routine at once is harder on kids than it looks.
Get them out into the suburb
The fastest way for a suburb to stop feeling strange is to spend time in it. In the first few weeks, walk or ride wherever you can instead of driving. Kids notice far more on foot: the dog that’s always at the front gate, the tree with the good climbing branch, the shortcut to the shops.
Queensland makes this easy for most of the year.
In Brisbane, the council library branches run free storytime and school holiday programs, and the bigger parklands and riverside paths are full of families on weekends. Pick one local park as “your” park and go often.
On the Gold Coast and the Sunshine Coast, the beach is the obvious meeting place, and Surf Life Saving clubs run nippers programs for kids, generally starting with the warmer months. It’s one of the best ways for kids to make friends quickly, and for parents to meet other parents on the sand at 7am.
Wherever you are, the local library is worth an early visit. Getting each child their own library card is a small thing that makes them feel like they belong somewhere.
Help them make the first friend
Kids rarely need a lot of friends to feel settled. One good one is usually enough to change everything.
At school, ask the teacher early on who might be a good match for your child, and whether there’s a buddy program for new students. Most schools are very good at this and have done it hundreds of times. Then follow up outside school: a short playdate at the park, an invitation to the beach, a lift to the next birthday party. It feels awkward to be the new parent asking, but almost every family has been the new one at some point, and most remember how it felt.
Activities do a lot of the heavy lifting too. A sport, a dance class, Scouts or Guides, swimming lessons, a drama group or a holiday program gives kids a ready-made group with something in common. If your child played a sport before the move, sign them up with the local club straight away so there isn’t a long gap. It also gives them a little bit of the old life in the new one.
Keep the old friendships going
Moving away from friends doesn’t have to mean losing them. Help kids stay in touch, especially in the first few months:
- Schedule a regular video call with their best friend, the same night each week.
- Let younger kids send postcards or drawings. Getting mail back is exciting.
- If it’s practical, plan a visit back, or invite an old friend to stay during the holidays.
Kids who know they haven’t lost their old friends are usually more open to making new ones. It isn’t one or the other.
Moving north is a bigger change
Not every Queensland move is a hop between suburbs. Plenty of families head north for work or lifestyle, and moving from the south east up to Far North Queensland is a much bigger shift for kids.
The climate is the first thing they’ll notice. The wet season, roughly November to April, brings heavy rain, high humidity and the occasional cyclone warning. It’s worth talking about it before you go so storms feel exciting rather than frightening. The beaches are different too: from around November to May, marine stingers are a real risk, so families swim at netted beaches or in places like the free Esplanade Lagoon in Cairns, which quickly becomes a favourite for kids.
The upside is enormous. Rainforest, reef and waterfalls are all within a short drive, and there’s a strong outdoor family culture once you’re plugged into it.
If you’re planning a move like this, experienced removalists Cairns families rely on will know how the wet season affects access and delivery times, and can help you plan the timing so you’re not unpacking in the middle of a downpour. For moves within the south east, ask removalists Brisbane families have used whether they’ll set up the kids’ beds as soon as they arrive. It’s a small request, and it makes the first night far easier.
Let them have a say
Kids cope better with change when they feel some control over it. You can’t give them a vote on the move itself, but you can give them plenty of smaller choices:
- Where their bed goes, and what colour the walls might be in a few months’ time
- Which park, beach or café you try first on the bucket list
- What the family does on the first weekend
- Which activity they’d like to try in the new area
For teenagers especially, having a real say in their own space goes a long way. They’re the ones most likely to feel the move as a loss, because their friendships are a bigger part of their world. Be patient with the grumpiness. It usually passes.
Look after yourself too
Kids take a lot of their cues from you. If you’re stressed and lonely in the new place, they’ll pick up on it, even if you never say a word.
So it’s worth putting some effort into your own settling in. Say hello to the neighbours, even if it feels a bit old-fashioned. Join the local community Facebook group or a Buy Nothing group. Go to the school P&C meeting or volunteer for a reading morning. Find a café you like. The friends you make often lead to your kids’ friends, and vice versa.
And give yourself some credit. Moving a family is one of the most tiring things you’ll ever do.
When to ask for help
Most of the wobbles after a move are normal and pass with time, routine and a bit of extra patience. But it’s worth talking to someone if, after a couple of months, your child:
- is still very withdrawn or tearful most days
- is refusing to go to school
- has trouble sleeping that isn’t getting better
- has stopped enjoying things they used to love
Start with their teacher or the school’s guidance officer, who will have seen it before, or your GP. Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) is free and available 24 hours a day for children and young people who want to talk to someone themselves.
Home is the people, not the house
Give it time. Somewhere in the first few months there’ll be a moment when your child says “let’s go home” and means the new place. It’s usually an ordinary moment: walking back from the park, driving back from a friend’s house, coming in from the beach. That’s when you’ll know the move has worked.
Kyle Campos is a director of R2G Transport & Storage, an AFRA-accredited removals and storage company that has been moving Queensland families from its Brisbane and Cairns depots since 2014.
