Divorce and separation are never easy, even when things are amicable. Principal Solicitor at Peppermint Legal Rachel Ravell shares her tips on how to save your sanity and keep things as amicable as possible during this difficult time.
1) Breathe and think of the bigger picture
Separation isn’t a walk in the park. There will be bumps along the way and plenty of emotion. To try and keep things as amicable as possible, always remember there is a bigger picture involved. Whether it’s your children’s wellbeing, your sanity or simply your new fresh start. Before reacting or getting caught up in what is ‘fair’ or the ‘principle’ of the matter, remember to BREATHE first and think of what is at play long term. Is it worth the drama or headache? Sometimes it is but quite often it’s not.
2) Focus on what is within your control
We get it. Your ex is a pain sometimes. But…you have absolutely no control over their behaviour or actions.
What you can control is YOU. Your actions and reactions. So, stop the blame game, stick to the facts (treat them like a business partner if you have to!) and hold your head high knowing that you are doing everything in your power to be respectful and calm.
3) Self-care: Fit your own life mask first
Self-care is key! Easier said than done we know. But the more you can focus on looking after yourself (at a minimum, eat properly and get enough sleep) the more it will help you to remain calm and in check when things get tricky. Plus, you deserve to treat yourself when going through such a difficult time.
4) One step forward, some back.
Some days will be better than others, no doubt. One day you might wake up ready to power through and other days all you want to do is escape from the world. It is important to realise that divorce and separation is not a linear journey and it is completely okay to have ‘down’ or ‘off’ days. Especially if there are children involved. It’s tough. But things will eventually shift and return to a ‘new normal’.
5) One step at a time
Baby steps. Always. When everything seems incredibly overwhelming come back to the thought of ‘what can I focus on in just this next minute/hour/day?’ to get me through. When your mind starts racing ahead about all of the changes, emotions and uncertainty, remember that you are doing your best, you are amazing and that you just need to take things one.step.at.a.time. Be kind to yourself, you’ve got this.
Peppermint Legal provides certainty, peace-of-mind and a fresh start for people going through divorce or separation…without court!
If you would like to have a free no obligation chat with Rachel, please book online at www.peppermintlegal.com.au or email at